Blustery

"It feels like Mother Nature is deep-throat face raping you with her icy wind cock"

Ghetto Safety

"Black people don't need gun safes, that's what the waistband on their sweatpants is for."

"I wonder if the retinal scanner on a gun safe works for the brown eye. Wouldn't it be cool if I could just scan my butthole!?"

As told to Dani (and loosely paraphrased).